Green Onions Forever

Green Onions Forever

We still have like 5 bunches of uneaten green onions left. Good luck, Roommate N! Please eat all of the green onions for us!

So what are we going to do with all the green onions? Make green onion pancakes, of course!

What is a green onion pancake? It sounds nasty.

First, some disclaimers: green onion pancakes are not sweet. That would actually be nasty. They’re not actually pancakes either, just pancake-shaped. Commonly sold by street vendors, the name of this savory snack in Chinese (蔥油餅 or, in simplified, 葱油饼) literally translates to “scallion oil flatbread”. This is a pretty accurate description of what they actually are. This sounds delicious now, right?

So, how do we make it?

First, obtain a clean surface, flour, and very small amounts of water. Mix the flour and water together with hands/fancy expensive mixing machine until you obtain a dough. Remember, not a batter! The pancake part is a lie. (The difference between a dough and a batter is that doughs are squishable by hand while batters are liquidy and…not squishable by hand.

After that, oil the surface and put a blob of dough on it. Flatten the dough as much as possible–doesn’t matter what shape it is right now since you’ll roll it up later. On top of your flat dough, put on a thin layer of oil, some salt, and as much green onion as you want. Then, roll it up! It’s hard to take photos when your hands are covered by green onion pancakes, so please look on the internet for pictures…

There’s two ways of folding the green onion pancake after you finish rolling it up. The first way is to roll it up again so it looks like a coiled snake–the internet has photos…. However, I prefer to just fold the two long sides in because the first way tends to make all the green onions go to the edges of the pancake for some reason. The first way gives it a better texture though… Anyhow, experiment and pick your favorite.

After that, flatten the pancake with the palm of your hand. If you do it with a rolling pin, all the green onions will get squished out.

Now it’s time to cook it! Heat up oil in a pan in medium-high (the most generic temperature; when in doubt, assume medium high) until the oil is hot/you’re too lazy to wait, then stick the pancake in:

Flip when the bottom is slightly burnt/it looks cooked argh why is it not becoming slightly burnt.

(Protip: If it’s not becoming slightly burnt, turn the heat up a little. Or squish the pancake with your spatula.)

Final Verdict: 9/10 why can I never get the texture correct (it’s delicious though)